Finding Escape Velocity

When I was in college, I ate lunch every day with a group of friends on campus. Since we all had different schedules, "lunch" could happen pretty much any time. The tables were just a place to find each other. I would often show up between my first and second classes ... and never leave. Other people would leave for class, come back, and find me in the same spot talking to a new person.

At some point, we developed a theory: the problem with leaving lunch tables was finding escape velocity.

"Escape Velocity" can be defined as "the minimum velocity that has to be achieved by an object, to escape the gravitational sphere of influence (pull or force or attraction) of the celestial body." (https://byjus.com/physics/the-escape-velocity-of-earth/)

In the case of lunch tables, the more people, the more interesting the conversation ... the stronger the pull to stay. Just like I couldn't overcome the "gravitational sphere of influence" of hanging with my friends to get to class, sometimes it's hard for people to overcome the comfort of where they are in order to take action toward something that they want.

The other day, I was talking to Margo Aaron about this. Margo teaches people how to use words to get people to take action. She told me that marketing is NOT about convincing someone to buy from you instead of from someone else. It's about convincing them that what they already want from you is worth the effort required to get up off the couch and take action. Marketing is about getting people to overcome inertia - which requires escape velocity.

We talk often about motivation as the missing ingredient to reaching our goals. Give yourself a powerful enough reason, and when times are tough you'll do the thing anyway. But what about when you have the strongest WHY in the world, and you still just. can't. get. it. done?

I had a client who once said to me, "I know I need to go to the gym more. When I work out, I feel stronger; I have more energy; it helps my stress levels. I even know that once I actually get there, I really enjoy how it feels to work out, and I really love how I feel after. But it is SO hard to get there."

Regardless of how motivated you are, there is a minimum amount of velocity required in order to break through the gravitational influence of everything around you and TAKE ACTION. You need to be able to hit that escape velocity in order to start, and then your momentum and motivation can carry you through.

Sometimes getting started can feel like trying to run up a wall. Fortunately, there are people who literally know how to do just that.

Check out this video about how to get over the warped wall for American Ninja Warrior (The important part is 0:24 to 0:46, but feel free to watch the whole thing.):

Evan tells us that the secret to getting up this wall is to "run up the contour of the wall, not into the wall." He goes on to say that you need to be "powerful, explosive, and agile." Then he says, "let's go to the gym." Back in the gym, NONE of what he shows us involves the actual wall.

Evan understands that WANTING to get to the top of the wall is not enough to get you there. Practicing running up over and over is only going to lead to frustration. You ALSO need to prepare your legs so that you have the stamina, strength, and endurance to reach your goal.

The same is true about whatever it is you are struggling with - getting to the gym, turning off the TV, getting your homework done, making time for date nights, [add your challenge here]. We look at the challenge itself and wonder why we just won't do it. What if we looked at the challenge the way Evan looked at the warped wall?

You know WHAT you want (get up the wall), and you probably have a clear picture of WHY you want it (finish the course). Break the problem down and then build your skills up to change it:

1. Where do you lose momentum? (where the wall becomes vertical)

2. What could you shift about your approach? (running up the contour, not at the wall)

3. What skills or strengths do you NEED in order to make that shift? (power, endurance, and strength in the legs)

4. What things can you do to help you DEVELOP what you need? (the leg exercises in the gym)

I think a lot of us skip those last two steps and just try to change how we approach the wall, rather than preparing ourselves to be able to conquer it. We spend too much time wondering "why" (which is a good question, just not the only question), and not enough time figuring out how to build up enough speed to break through to the next level that we want so badly.

We fail to take action, not because we don't want it badly enough, but because we haven't learned the right skills to reach escape velocity.

Let's apply the warped wall theory to an example from my life.

Where do I lose momentum? I don't switch gears well. Once I start something I want to see it through to the end no matter what. I lose all track of time, and other things don't get finished on time. I need to be able to stick to my schedule better.

What could I shift about my approach? I was told to learn to "work to time" instead of "working to task." This means that "finished" means I hit my time limit for the day, rather than the end of the project I am working on. (This goes against my very nature.)

This is where most people stop. They identify the problem and a solution and assume they will be able to just implement the solution with no setbacks. Even without a brain injury, I've always been the person who takes "one more minute" over and over when I am supposed to be wrapping something up. Telling myself to make a new schedule and "work to time" would have been setting myself up for failure. This is why we need the last two steps.

What skills do I need to develop in order to make that shift? I need to develop a different awareness of time, a willingness to take breaks, and a system for getting back into something the next day.

How do I develop these skills?

a) Plan the day on paper, with room for revisions. This helps me see where I need to make adjustments during the day so I can plan better next time.

b) Use timers for tasks. These include 10-minute and 5-minute warnings, just like I would give a 5-year-old.

c) Pick things to do on breaks so that I don't feel like I'm stopping for no reason.

d) Leave notes to myself in the last 5 minutes of a task so that I know where to pick up the next day.

Escape velocity comes when we combine knowing what we really want with not just an understanding of the obstacles we face but a plan for how to develop the skills to get past the obstacles. At the end of the day, motivating ourselves requires the same thing as marketing: showing that what we already want to do is worth the effort it takes to do it. Developing the right skills along the way allows us to reach escape velocity and get to the next level sooner.